2020

 I've ignored this blog for the last couple years.  But I decided to post again because one day I will enjoy reading it.  My kids are bigger Kermit is 10, Darcy is 8, Daisy is 5 and the baby is now 2.  This year has simply been crazy for the world.  We've been mostly at home since March.  I am simply shocked how long everything is lasting and we're not anywhere near the end.  Anyway to recap a bit life was normal then schools closed.  Our Disney trip in April got postponed to August then February.  We're not feeling confident about February either.  My older kids did virtual learning and the girls are continuing but we'll be homeschooling Kermit starting Monday because he got headaches from all the video calls.  

I am shocked by how normal life seems right now.  Time just keeps ticking on and it's really not that hard.  I definitely miss seeing friends, having the normal busy kid stuff and want to visit pre-covid Disney but life continues.  I can go two weeks between shopping trips, we buy toilet paper 80 rolls at a time (only way we can get a reasonable amount for 6 of us) and I'm used to going days between leaving the house.  We wear masks (although it's sometimes a struggle with the toddler) and try to stay distant when we're around people.  I often check out 25+ items from the library amd our house is full of the sounds of virtual learning.  BF and I have video calls with friends on Wednesday and Saturday nights.  We have an active group chat that will make me laugh out loud literally and debate major issues.  I'm terrified about Trump winning the election and desperately want a vaccine to be effective and available soon.  We could go out to eat or do a lot of things but don't because we don't believe it's actually safe.  Life is crazy and boring at the same time.  

Now I am Six

Darcy is now six years old.  I feel like she's finally begun to mature and calm down.  However we are going to approach getting her diagnosed with ADHD at her next well child appointment.  She is very wiggly but the biggest issues is she is very impulsive.  She still makes messes without thinking about it very much.  Shortly after her birthday she cut her own hair then instantly regretted it.  Sometimes she will knock something to the floor just because the mood struck her.  All that said she is calming down from where she was before when she seemed to have so much trouble controlling her actions and maybe a little less crazy energy.
This past year Darcy started school and she mostly has enjoyed it.  She's doing okay in school not great by any means but not struggling either.  She still get speech and OT at school and has an IEP.  Her teacher this year was a huge help and I really feel like was a great match for Mary.  She was firm but very kind.  And really believed in outdoor recess daily.
Darcy is an incredibly kind child.  She is concerned for others who are upset and so loving with her baby brother. And sometimes with her odd siblings.  I think she really wishes that she had a room of her own but she has to share with her sister.  They do have a lot of fun together sometimes.  Darcy has trouble settling at night and tends to get in trouble for not going to bed.  She loves when she can have sleepovers with her brother and stay up later.  She's quite the night owl and likes to sleep in.  Most school days I have to wake her up!
Darcy loves playing Harry Potter with her older brother and Princesses with her sister.  She plays well with both of them and I feel like being one of the middle children is a good fit for her.  She loves climbing everything and anything and got to rock climb twice this year including on her birthday at the Y.  Darcy loves spicy foods and actually picked Mexican food for her birthday dinner.  She really wanted to ride roller coasters this year but we didn't get a chance.  Darcy has started enjoying coloring this year and creating art.  She loves having them hung up in the wall. 
Darcy is often goofy or silly.  She laughs easily.  She loves whenever she gets individual attention and unfortunately often gets lost in the shuffle.  I'm eager to see what this next year will bring.  She's excited for first grade and watching her baby brother get bigger.

Darcy is 6

Favorite foods- jalapeno chips, chocolate, fruit, pizza, ceasar salad and meatballs 
Least favorite foods- random stuff 
Favorite books- Fairy tales, Magic school bus, Fancy Nancy and The Paperdoll Princess 
Favorite toys-Dress ups, American Girl Doll Mary Ellen and trampoline 
Bedtime-7:30ish
Best part of the year- Starting kindergarten 
Worst part of the year- slightly after her birthday but cutting her hair
Special moments- Kindergarten graduation, becoming a big sister again, starting girl scouts, camping and the beach 
Best Friends- I is her BFF but she has a lot of other friends 
Vacations- Ocean City, camping and Pittsburgh 

My Threeanger

Daisy has been three for almost two months now.  She fits the description of a threeanger to a T.  She is full of such big feelings and gets annoyed with us for babying her so quickly. But she's three so she's still very much a baby.  This past year has been a big one since she became a big sister.  Most of the time she adores her little brother.  "He's so cute!"  She'll tell me.  Other times she will flat out tell me that she's jealous of him.  It's hard adapting to a new baby when you're three.
Daisy adores her big brother and sister.  This year she's really joined the fray and gets in on all their games and fights.  She's picked up a lot of skills from them like name calling and performing Harry Potter spells.  She has a really neat relationship with each of them.  She looks up to Kermit and he protects her and sometimes even babies her.  However he also wants her to stay out of his room.  Darcy and her have so much fun together and really enjoy each other' company most of the time.  They have similar interests and often gang up on their brother. 
Daisy is obsessed with Frozen and Pinkalicious.  She has SO many Elsas and Anna dolls.  Like she literally has like 6 Elsa dolls and 4 Anna dolls.  Once she had her Anna dolls having an argument over who is the real Anna.  She loves ballet and dancing.  Last year she got a pair of tap shoes, which she loves to wear and dance around in if she's not doing ballet.  I really wanted her to take ballet lessons but waited too long to look into it and the ones that worked cost/schedule wise were full.  She did start swimming lessons a couple weeks before her birthday.  We celebrated Daisy's birthday with dinner at McDonald's and a Frozen party a week later. 
Daisy is incredibly funny, cuddly, stubborn and outgoing.  She makes friends with everyone and often makes people laugh.  She always has something to say and is so loving.  She's the only child who sometimes seems to actually like dogs and will approach random dog owner to ask if she can pet their dog.  Other things she doesn't ask permission for such as if she sees food then she'll take it.  She is very independent often running into a bathroom stall and locking it so she can use it on her own. 

Daisy is 3

Favorite foods- chips, fries, sour cream, strawberries, pasta and pizza
Least favorite foods- Anything spicy
Favorite books- Pinkalicious, princesses and Frozen
Favorite toys-Dress ups, dolls and doll houses/the castle
Bedtime-7:30ish
Best part of the year- becoming a big sister
Worst part of the year- becoming a big sister 
Special moments- Camping, birthday party, starting swim lessons and preschool 
Best Friends-R and her school classmates
Vacations- Ocean City, camping and Pittsburgh 

3 months

It's hard to believe that our youngest is now three months.  It's amazing how much he's changed recently.  Gone is the skinny newbkrn and instead we have a chunky baby.  He's on reflux medication now so he's spitting up a lot less.  He still likes to scream in the car sometimes and some days doesn't want to be put down.  But I think he's doing better overall.  I feel some sadness knowing that the newborn days are gone.  But there are parts of it that I won't miss too. 

7 Weeks

I would have loved to do a one month post and then a two month one.  However he's our fourth and life is incredibly busy.  So here we are most of the way through his first month.  Our little guy is doing well.  We finally figured out how to get him to sleep.  I slept in the basement for a few nights to do some "sleep training" I put that in quotes because I never let him cry it out or anything.  He is a newborn!  Instead I put him down in a snuggle nest on our coffee table each time he fell asleep.  He started out not sleeping much at all like 20 minutes at a good stretch.  It made for some loooong nights!  However slowly he got used to sleeping on his own and started going 40 minutes then an hour and a half.  Once he hit around two hours I moved back upstairs into our bed and he started sleeping in a pack and play.  We considered co-sleeping but our mattress is unsafe (it's really soft and tilts towards BF) and I sleep better with some space and blankets.  He's now gone as long as 6 hours but typically sleeps one 4 hour stretch and then some 2 hour stretches. 
I think he has reflux.  I see lots of symptoms including a rotten egg smell when he burps, a perpetually stuffy nose and spitting up in the middle of the night (which freaks me out).  However he's not very fussy so I'm hesitant to drag him to the pediatrician before his next well baby check up.  I have talked to the nurse on the phone and she felt it was up to me if I wanted to bring him in not something they have to see him about. 
Beyond those things life is pretty typical and wonderful.  He's starting to smile and even give some little laughs.  He is super cuddly and so tolerant of his older siblings who adore him but aren't always the best at leaving him alone, giving him space and being quiet.  He likes being held but is starting to become a little better about being put down.  He seems to be mildly interested in hanging toys however he's not batting at them yet.  His eyes are still blue but BF is still hoping they turn green!

DEFINITELY Complete

On Thursday BF got a vasectomy.  He's doing quite well and surprising both of us by how easily he's recovering from the surgery.  I was really nervous before he got the surgery but for him not having regrets about being finished.  As the baby gets bigger there are moments when I feel a little sad that this will be the last time I'll get to experience a newborn.  But there are other moments I don't regret being the last and I'm beyond thrilled to be finished with being pregnant especially morning sickness and labor.  It's also freeing to think that my body will not being going through all those changes again.  It's inspiring me to really try to loose the baby weight since it won't be packed on again in a couple years. 
Whenever BF is out of commission I always struggle.  He's a very involved father and not having that assistance always hits me hard.  I also feel like we are two very different people when it comes to our health.  BF is very cautious with following doctor's orders and taking it easy.  I held our 30 pound toddler during Easter Mass at 1 week postpartum.  And I know that my way isn't really the best way and I don't want him to do anything to set back his recovery or cause him pain.  It's just tricky when I never really take it easy and he is extremely cautious about everything even opting for the couch (they said bed rest or light activities) over a chair because it was a little bit uncomfortable in the chair and that can't be good.  Meanwhile I feel like after the children were born I've always thrown myself back into life.  It also doesn't help that we have a 7 week old and I'm still not getting much sleep.  It's also Mother's Day weekend so at a time when all my friends are talking about taking it easy for a change I'm taking on more stuff.  BF didn't want to schedule it right now but it was their only opening for awhile.  I guess a lot of men didn't want to do this before Mother's Day.   

One Week

Our first week with four kids has flown by us!  We're suddenly back in the newborn phase, which is a bit of a shock again after nearly three years since our last one.  That said while the having a newborn again part is hard four kids so far hasn't been much more difficult than three.  Kermit is incredibly helpful both with the baby and in general.  He's recently learned to vacuum, which is a great skill in a house covered in carpet.  Darcy has been a little better about following directions and helping out.  She loves the baby.  Daisy is jealous and desperate for time with me but she's been nice to her baby brother.  BF has been a huge help and I can't imagine if he didn't have his two weeks of leave.  Getting kids off to school and dealing with homework are new for us with a newborn. 
The baby has been eating like crazy.  He takes after his big brother with his constant hunger especially at night.  We've given in to co-sleeping, which I hate but seems right now the only way we're going to get any sleep at night.  When we put him down on his own we only get about 20 minutes before he's up again.  And 20 minutes is a long run of him being happy on his own.  Often he screams the moment he's put down to be picked up again.  I'm hoping this passes quickly because I really don't like him in bed with us.  It makes me nervous about SIDS.  But I also can't just stop sleeping.  We did that for the first few nights where I literally sat up with him pretty much all night until it was morning and BF took him.  I can't get zero sleep at night for an ongoing period and then function during the day enough to care for my other children.  And he's no better about being put down during the day either.  He just wants to be held all the time.  Which doesn't bother me much during the day because I love all the baby snuggles but at night I wish he'd sleep on his own.  At least for an hour!  I'd even take just an hour at a time over him in our bed.  The good thing is when he does sleep with us he only wakes up a couple time at night.  So it is a good way to get a decent night sleep. 
Besides sleep everything else is going well.  He's a pretty happy baby most of the time and has only spit up once.  He's done well just being along for the ride going to a art show, egg hunt and church already in his first 10 days.  I'm trying to really treasure this time while he's so tiny.  It's really incredible to have all four children that I've always wanted and dreamed of having here and healthy.  But some more sleep sure would make it easier to really enjoy this time.  However even exhausted baby snuggles are pretty darn amazing! 

Complete

Our little guy has arrived and our family is finally completed.  Although I know there are things I will miss about being pregnant, having a tiny baby and all the other things that are one day going to be distant memories I also feel at peace with the idea of him being our last.  I have no desire to be pregnant or give birth again.  And not because his birth was horrible or anything.  It's just not something I care to do again.
On Friday at my midwife appointment it was discovered that I had made no progress.  My membranes were once again stripped but the midwife felt it was a bad idea and unlikely to produce any results.  We decided to schedule an induction for the upcoming week since the stress of trying to plan for me to go into labor at any time was weighing on us.  I had some contractions that were pretty painful afterwards but nothing consistent.  When we went to bed on Friday night I started having some contractions that were kind of painful.  I kept track and noticed they were around 15 minutes apart.  However due to all the false labor that I'd experienced this week I was hesitant to wake BF and say that I was in fact in labor.  He finally woke anyways due to my restlessness.  I tried standing up and they stopped.  But when I laid back down they started again.  A little while later we tried me getting up again and this time they were less powerful but continued.  I called the midwife while BF called his parents. 
I was still nervous about being sent home and being told I wasn't actually in labor but we packed the last minute stuff like phone chargers and got ready to leave.  His parents arrived and we gave brief instructions then headed out.  In the car my contractions picked up both in terms of intensity and timing.  When we reached the hospital they were 3-5 minutes apart.  However since I hadn't made progress with contractions in the last week I was still nervous that I would be hardly dilated.  However these concerns were unfounded and I was already 7 cm. 
I labored in bed with the promise that I could change positions once they finished monitoring me.  The contractions picked up in pain and the nurse I had was absolutely wonderful.  After awhile I was checked and at 9 cm.  The pain started getting very intense and the midwife used a hot towel pressed on my back to help.  This was incredible and gave me a chance to catch my breath, which I had been struggling to do and was in danger of passing out to the point my hands were tingling. 
As soon as I felt any pressure I announced that I was ready to push and my bag of water was broken.  I'm guessing I started pushing too soon because he was in my memory the hardest to push out.  I'm not sure how long it actually took to push obviously it wasn't that long because just over an hour after arriving at the hospital he was born! 
I had no tearing and it was incredible to once again be holding my baby!  My last baby.  For as I held him for the first time there was no doubt in my mind that I didn't want to have another one.  Like I said there will be times I'm sure that I will miss no longer having little ones or being pregnant or a number of other things that being done means.  But I feel like he's meant to be our last.  He completes us.  And to make things even more special he was born on BF's birthday!  BF is over the moon about his present. 
We still hadn't agreed on a name but I wasted no time in reintegrating my choice and BF seemed to be less resistant.  When we reached the mother/baby ward the nurse ignored BF and recorded my choice.  And BF finally caved at that point.  I'm glad to have won the argument but equally happy that BF seems to not be upset about the decision.  We are both head over heels in love with our little guy!

40 Weeks

And once again here I am still pregnant on my due date.  I guess I was spoiled last time by being able to hold my baby on this date.  BF and I are both anxious about making sure everyone is where they need to be when I do finally go into labor and it dragging on like this isn't helping.  I really thought last Friday would be it and have been struggling since that I'm still waiting.  Plus I'm regularly having contractions for brief periods that then fizzle out into nothing.  Which just adds to the stress.  I'm going to ask my midwife about scheduling and induction, which they had offered to do at 39 weeks and I passed.  I still have my hesitations about doing it that way since the last thing I want is a complicated delivery but with three kids that are routinely in two different places and my MIL not being able to buckle a car seat it's just easier for me to get it scheduled then to keep up this waiting game.  Plus BF is terrified that the baby will come quickly like his older sister and we won't make it to the hospital in time or HE won't make it to wherever I'm at and miss the birth.  I would hate for that to happen and since I'm having so many start and stop contractions it's not even like I can just promise him that I will let him know right away when contractions start.  I'm hoping to having my membranes stripped again on Friday and that gets this stubborn guy out naturally!

Pressure

My MIL has kindly taken all three of our children because we're experiencing a snowstorm and she's convinced that I'm going into labor.  I'm definitely appreciative that she's taken them but I do feel a bit of pressure to now go into labor.  We'll see what happens because according to her the drop in barometric pressure causes all women to go into labor immediately.  Like she didn't expect us to make it home without something starting.  However I'm less convinced.  It would sure be nice to have the baby now but I don't think it's a given that he's going to come immediately because of this storm.  However getting snowed in with just my husband?  That sounds awesome!  And getting a chance to relax instead of caring for three small children is a welcome break at this point in my pregnancy.  Just so long as she's not too disappointed when we pick them up and there is no new baby.